Luxury Universal [e]Xperience wants you!

September 6, 2017

Hello Loyal Fans

You know what time it is!

Do what we say

It’s a lot of FUN

Become a part of the LUX Family

Abandon your family!

Burn your possessions!

Life is short

See the UVX before it ends

https://web.ovationtix.com/trs/pr/978218/prm/PLEASELUXDELUXETHANKYOU

All the Ways and Things You Can Follow LUX On and Movies!

August 30, 2017Leave a comment

Late Night Update CALMAT style!

You might be wondering, what’s the fuss about?

Well wonder no more. These are the ways to follow the LUX!

BUT WAIT THERE WILL BE MORE, STAY TUNED!

LUX WILL BE AT NEW YORK COMIC-CON. THIS IS NOT A DRILL

More details coming soon, FOLLOW LUX FOR MORE!

You’ll Never Believe How Much Fun you can have at The Movies with LUX!

August 23, 2017August 23, 2017

The LUX

LUXURY

UNIVERSAL

EXPERIENCE

So what are you waiting for?

That’s right join the LUX family now!

https://web.ovationtix.com/trs/pr/978218

Promo code: PLEASELUXDELUXETHANKYOU only $150 for a Lifetime membership!

Top 3 Ways LUX is 110% More FUN than Other Competing Cinema Chains

August 16, 2017August 16, 2017

Onward to the future of cinema loyal followers!

So what are the top 3 ways LUX is 110% more fun other competing Cinema chains*?

#1 Movies

With the wide range of films in the LUX vault, ranging from classics such as Our Last Day In the Bahamas (1985) and Shepherds, Sheep, and Spies (1994) to lesser known art films such as Est(1964) LUX has something for everyone.

#2 John Pointe

He can walk. He can talk. He’s the only spokesperson who is 110% more FUN and on Linkedin!

#3 The LUX Deluxe

Only at a LUX screening can you become one of the most powerful moviegoers in the world!

By becoming a lifetime member of the LUX Deluxe you’re taking your moviegoing experience to the next level. Using LUX’s patented FUN app, LUX Deluxe patrons can vote to make changes to the screening, giving them all the power of a director and producer wrapped into one Ultimate mind-bending [e]Xperience.

And you can become LUX Deluxe RIGHT NOW at a discount with promo code PLEASELUXDELUXETHANKYOU : BUY TICKETS HERE!

That’s all for now!

*LUX is 110% more FUN than a Regal.

How to become part of the LUX family and Things… and Movies

August 9, 2017August 9, 2017

This week on CALMAT, brought to you by LUX

It’s an exciting adventure in how to become LUX, which might seem confusing

But don’t worry, it’s simple enough.

STEP 1

Connect to the internet

STEP 2

https://squareup.com/store/luxury-universal-experience

Step 3

Buy all the tickets to the UVX: The Ultimate Viewing [e]Xperience brought to you by LUX

Step 4

(optional, but strongly recommended)

Begin your life long LUX Deluxe Patronship

That’s it!

Now you’re part of the LUX family!

Top 1 Thing That Is FUN About The UCC

August 2, 2017July 27, 2017Leave a comment

You might have heard that there’s an event going on this week.

No need to be shy, gather around and we’ll tell you all about it.

Really, really.

Due to contractual obligations, Chmaj and Lyle Make A Thing will be present at:

UNIVERSAL CORPORATE CONFERENCE 12:

WHAT I DID FOR LOVE:

THE TRIALS OF AN INDIE FILMMAKER

And you can be too

Just by contacting JMAE.EVENTS@GMAIL.COM for Reservations*

And without further ado, we present our Top 1 Thing that is FUN about the UCC

1. Merchandise!

The most FUN part of the UCC is Merchandise, and there’s something for everyone**

From The End User License Agreement: Puzzle Edition (TM)

to UCC12 Polos

and MORE!

the UCC offers the Ultimate Merchandise Experience.

See you there!

*Reservations REQUIRED. Supplies are very limited and/or gone

**Except for Regal Fans

Here Are Our 17 Favorite Fans…And Movies

July 26, 2017July 24, 2017

These are our 17 favorite fans AND movies, all in one list! Wow!

These excited and eager fans, ready to cheer!

2. This fan, who doesn’t stop trying when the going gets rough

3. This Fan that brought their own internet cat

4. This one’s a BIG fan!

5. This fan is fabulous

6. This fan, who’s too cool for school

7. One of our favorite fans is Dat Phan

(Scroll to the bottom to see the video!)

8. This fan, who’s never ashamed to show their pride

9. This fan who is loving life!

10. This number one fan!

11. This old man fan becomes a baby fan, wow!

12. This fan, who never gives less than 110% service

13. This little fan who just can’t get enough

14. These fans, who also can’t get enough

15. But it’s okay, because we the best

16. Thanks Fans!

17. Out Of Africa

See you next week loyal fans!

How to Find Our Favorite Patrons

July 19, 2017July 10, 2017

Welcome back to Chmaj & Lyle Make A Thing, this week we will show you how to find our favorite patrons!

Steps

1 Open your webcam

2 Look at Video Feed from Webcam

See you next Week!

Top 10 Things That Are FUN About the Movies

July 12, 2017July 12, 2017

Welcome fellow Patrons.***

This week we here at Chmaj & Lyle Make A thing tackle the top 10 things that are FUN about the movies.

#1 : You get to sit down

Theaters have chairs that you can sit in. Wow! Can you believe how generous they are?

#2 : They have bathrooms

You never know when you’ll have to go. Thankfully, if you’re at the movie theater you don’t have to worry about where, just when.

#3 : You can watch a movie

Movie theaters are known for being a place where you can see all kinds of filmed entertainment for the low, low price of a ticket.

#4 : They turn off the lights during the movie

For your optimal viewing pleasure they make the rest of the theater dark while you watch a movie!

#5 : The movies are shown on a big screen

Seriously, it’s almost as big as your personal population center.

#6 : They have concessions

And the size of concessions is huge! It’s just like being a kid again.

#7 : They have loyalty programs

Whether you’re a less than 110% more FUN loyal Regal Crown Club Member or a non-essential AMC Stubs Premiere member, or even a

LUX Deluxe(tm)****

****Never heard of the LUX Deluxe member program? Where have you been living? Unless you have been living in the province of Quebec, where the LUX Deluxe program is void, you’re missing out on the best way to see the movies.

The LUX Deluxe is the Ultimate VIP [e]Xperience for the Ultimate Viewing [e]Xperience™.

Simply better than every other film technology on the market, the Ultimate Viewing [e]Xperience™ (UVX) is your future and the best night of your life and now, available only to a select few, The LUX DELUXE is the ultimate ticket for the true moviegoer. If you’ve ever wanted to feel like you were in the director’s seat, this is the ticket for you.

member, you earn points for doing the thing you love most, seeing movies.

#8 : They pick the movie for you

You can just relax because the movie theater already decides what is FUN.

#9 : They have tickets

Tickets are available to everyone at the movie theater and it’s always possible to get a ticket to a later screening if one is sold out.

And our favorite…!

#10 : Movie Trailers

I bet you haven’t seen Hot New Summer Blockbuster Trailer # 7 yet, have you? Get on that and go see a movie!

That’s it! Did we forget anything you think is FUN about going to the movies? Comment Below and let us know!*****

*You give LUX a perpetual, irrevocable, universal (i.e. worldwide and beyond), royalty-free, and non-exclusive license to reproduce, adapt, modify, translate, publish, publicly perform, publicly display and distribute any thoughts, feelings, emotions, concepts, words, actions, etc. which you submit, post or display on or through, the Services of LUX for any purpose, commercial, testimonial, subliminal, propagandistic, advertising or otherwise. You waive all right to challenge any use, modified or unmodified, of this content as a filed case of libel, slander, or similar misrepresentation lawsuits.*** Due to contractual obligation to Luxury Universal Experience, LLC. the comments section has been permanently closed

The Grandest of Announcements [REDACTED]

July 5, 2017July 5, 2017

You’ve been here with us through a roller coaster of emotions. You laughed with us when we met Cowbell man. You cried when Chmaj became a pop tarts test subject. You even became a Hun in the great fight against bums. But now, today, you can do all of that and more!

Today is a very important day at CALMAT. Today is the day we throw open wide the doors to the CALMAT labs and unleash what has been cooking in the e-z bake oven within.

Today is Thing 1 Day. Today marks [REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED] of the CALMAT brand into a household name whose legacy will survive long past we have all grown into trees or whatever science deigns to turn us into.

[REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED]. [REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED], [REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED], was purchased, [REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED],[REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED]of financing [REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED] financial markets[REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED]. The thing of the week had [REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED] [REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED] the content we [REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED] post. The truth of the matter is [REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED].

It’s a lot of work to grow a new Thing. Sometimes you aren’t even sure if it’s a Thing until [REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED],[REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED],[REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED]. Things take a lot of love, water, and [REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED]. But slowly and surely, as you pour stuff into a Thing, it [REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED]. [REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED]. [REDACTED] it’s still really cool.

We are[REDACTED]entirely sure this Thing will do everything we [REDACTED] it will. [REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED], this [REDACTED] will revolutionize the way we consume media and live entertainment. It’s [REDACTED][REDACTED], [REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED]going to send shock waves through the [REDACTED][REDACTED]. [REDACTED][REDACTED] come into being so fully formed, write themselves, and assert their dominance in the same way that this Thing has over the past 8 months. It took us a lot of [REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED] to get the contract [REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED] but finally, [REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED].

And that is why, without further ado, we here at CALMAT would like to introduce you to our first Thing. This, we are proud to say, is the finest Thing we here at CALMAT have yet produced. Greater even then the [REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED], [REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED], [REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED]. We have waited a long time to announce this Thing to the world, but the time was never right. Now, with all the proper implements in place and the stars in alignment ([REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED], [REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED]. [REDACTED][REDACTED], [REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED]; [REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED], [REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED].). We are finally able to stand before you, seated, and type to you these great words.

Without further ado, allow us to introduce you to