23 Mind-Melting Facts about Lyle that will make you Cast Down Your Gods!

  1. You may be surprised to learn that Lyle is a left handed genetic freak.
  2. You may find this hard to believe, but at one point Lyle weighed seven pounds!
  3. Lyle’s favorite ice cream is Ben and Jerry’s Mint Chocolate Chunk.
  4. Lyle once accidentally punched a bear in Wisconsin. The wild kind, not the ones you find in a bar.
  5. .Lyle’s first book was the Hardy Boys.
  6. In Sixth grade Lyle was the legal defense for bullies in Bully Court, a totally real thing.
  7. The first thing Lyle ever did in a pen and paper game was attempt to walk seductively in front of a guard, he critically failed.
  8. Brunch is a religion. This is not necessarily a fact about Lyle, but a truth of the universe.
  9. Lyle currently has Schrodinger’s Celiacs, the state in between where you know you have Celiac’s disease and where you have no idea if you have Celiacs but the bloodwork came back really positive so you had to go gluten free in case you have Celiacs.
  10. Lyle once shot free throws with Shaquille O’Neal. He missed all of them. So did Shaq.
  11. Lyle has had Ulcerative Colitis since the age of 8, which he found out while at Sea World for his brother’s birthday party. Chmaj laughed while reading this.
  12. Lyle once sipped water out of a pothole while being Goldfishman. It was alright. Chmaj still thinks it was a great shoot.
  13. Once, after eating an entire package of brownies, Lyle took a nap.
  14. Lyle once got into a serious discussion with a friend about Sony and Nintendo, which turned into a fight because his friend wouldn’t admit Nintendo was the superior company. Then the Wii came out and Lyle was wrong.
  15. One time, Lyle kissed a girl. He liked it.
  16. Sometimes, for periods of around eight hours, Lyle will mysteriously lay down and become unresponsive. Scientists have not determined the cause, but they are dedicated to finding a cure.
  17. Lyle would like to go to space one day.
  18. Sometimes Lyle watches sports. Especially the Lakers.
  19. Lyle wears a size 13 shoe. He finds it annoying because no one makes big enough socks.
  20. Last week Lyle found a 10 dollar bill on the street.
  21. One time, Lyle learned Algebra. He found it very fun. Then he had to learn Geometry and Lyle burned the book.
  22. It’s important to note that Lyle has a reflection.
  23. Lyle can count to 22.

You may be surprised to learn that these are facts and that you may have already known them, but now they are at the front of your mind.